A List of Reasons Naruto's Life is Too Complicated
by Ink Reservoir
Summary: "Naruto hated everything that Sasuke stood for." Rambling about Naruto's problems, most of which are Sasuke.


**A List of Reasons Naruto's Life is Too Complicated**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

Harder than it is to save anyone else, Naruto had realized that it was hardest to save himself from hatred.

Sai had taught him to make lists in order to keep his thoughts in check. It usually didn't work.

The Problems with the Leaf

1. Sasuke

He honestly couldn't think of anything else, and it had been a long time since Sasuke had left. The list used to be longer:

1. Sasuke

2. Ramen takes too long to cook

To be honest, #2 was still a problem, but he'd learned it didn't cook faster in any other village.

Staring at the list long enough confused him, because he felt like there was always something _wrong _with it. Like somehow, he'd managed to mess the list up.

"You know, Naruto," Sai had once said, looking over his shoulder. "Sasuke cannot be a problem with the Leaf, because he is no longer here."

Naruto suddenly had a stomachache and excused himself to go throw up.

He tried to like Sai, really, he did.

Naruto hated everything Sasuke stood for. Revenge. Hatred. Wounds that never healed. If Naruto were to make a list of things he hated, "Everything Sasuke Loves" would probably be on it.

Then again, Sasuke had once told him he didn't particularly like anything.

This was true. Sasuke liked ideas.

Many people made the mistake of believing that Naruto loved everything. This was not true. Naruto loved love.

The Problems with Sasuke

1. His name sounds strange in the title of this list.

2. His name always sounds strange.

3. He's an idiot.

And finally,

4. He's forgotten me.

Naruto forgot no one except Shino, but that wasn't the point so stop looking at him like that. Almost everyone he'd ever met had told him _something_ he'd remember for the rest of his life. For instance,

"Forget about Sasuke."

That was the one thing Naruto could never forgive the Pervy Sage for.

He was too lazy to make a list of all the stupid things people had said to him, but that would be in the top five.

Actually, any sentence beginning with "give up" was the stupidest thing ever said to him.

"Why does everyone love Sasuke?"

Sasuke had always been Naruto's role model. Love was all that Naruto had ever wanted, and as far as he knew, Sasuke had it all. It wasn't until much later-

"I heard you massacred your whole clan."

"Uchiha Itachi, get ready to die!"

-that he realized Sasuke had never had what he wanted the entire time.

"Don't judge a book by its cover," he'd read in "Tales of a Gutsy Ninja", and he wished someone had told him that before he met Sasuke, but then again, he'd probably just yell about how Sasuke wasn't a book.

Sometimes he really did feel like such an idiot, and the more Sakura said it the more he wanted to kick himself.

He could have conversations with Sasuke in his head. They never really went well.

"Why do all of you hate Sasuke so much?"

He found tears running down his face in the dream where he'd yelled it at them all, and he woke up laughing on the floor at how ridiculous his life had become.

They all seriously believed he didn't know.

"A missing-nin, to be punished with death."

Naruto wasn't as idiotic as they seemed to believe. Before anyone had spoken it out loud, before the thought had crossed anyone's minds Naruto had started praying for Sasuke's mercy.

He found himself alone in his room a lot, and his knees were starting to get scraped.

"Dear God,

The Questions I want to Ask You

1. Am I doing this right?

2. Where is Sasuke?

3. When did I start hating all my friends?"

"Naruto, I really like you!" she'd said and Naruto hated her guts.

"I'm just being selfish."

Yes, you are, I told you to leave.

"Naruto, sometimes your eyes are better than mine."

Maybe yours would be better if you practiced using them for important things, like finding Sasuke.

"You saved me from my loneliness."

Yeah, but no one's trying to save me from my hell.

Sasuke was the worst joke he'd ever heard.

Sometimes he felt guilty for his thoughts.

Other times he just wanted to leave.

"Listen, Naruto, you can't keep looking for Sasuke."

"Why?"

"He's hopeless."

"Why are you so obsessed with my brother?"

Well, Itachi Uchiha, there are many reasons, but I'll say the one that might make someone laugh when I retell the story later.

Sakura never told him what she'd said to Sasuke that night. Sometimes Naruto hated her because she let him leave.

Occasionally, he thought that he could do what Sasuke had done. Take all of his things and leave silently in the night without anyone to back him up or tell him what to do, a bag of kunai, his body and the voice that had stopped a man from destroying the world.

But Sasuke scared him, because Naruto never wanted to be like that.

Things I Hate

1. Revenge

2. Hatred

3. Wounds that never heal

And finally,

4. Sasuke

"You ruined my life," he'd whispered once, and the Sasuke in his head shrugged.

"That's just too bad for you."

He never liked the word 'finally'.

5. Life-ruiners.

He erased it later because 4 and 5 were basically the same thing.

Then he erased 4, too.

"If giving up on a friend is the smart thing to do, I'd rather be a fool."

He sighed, because it took him too long to understand why friendship was for fools.

However, he did know what was wrong with his first list.

The Problem with the Leaf

1. Sasuke

"He's not here."

No, that wasn't it. The problem was, how could you love a problem?

**A/N: I've found the concept of Naruto having to choose between his village and Sasuke rather intriguing ever since reading "Dream Deferred" by Sebe, one of my favorite Fanfiction. Thanks for reading, and reviews are always appreciated!**


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